Why Does He Do That?
Welcome back to Bibliotherapy Thursday! October is a very important time here at Morning Light, as it’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Working with clients who have experienced intimate partner abuse has been the cornerstone of my career as well as this practice, and I’ve found that books on the topic can be invaluable tools for everyone whose lives have been touched by abuse. With this in mind, every week of October we will be featuring a book that explores intimate partner abuse from a variety of perspectives. Starting us off is Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft. This book is my #1 recommendation for all women who have been or are currently in a relationship with an abusive man.
Bancroft is the former codirector of Emerge, the nation’s first program for abusive men, and has dedicated his career to educating the public about the nature of intimate partner abuse. He has written several books on the topic, with this one serving as an excellent overview of the presence of abuse and how it can occur. The book is broken up into four parts: The Nature of Abusive Thinking, in which the reader learns about the development of abusive behaviors and common myths of abuse are addressed; The Abusive Man in Relationships, which describes the presentation of abusive behaviors with a partner; The Abusive Man in the World, which notes the sometimes incongruous way he treats his partner versus other friends and family members; and Changing the Abusive Man, which answers the age-old question about when change does and does not occur.
Though Why Does He Do That? is specifically written for women who have experienced male-perpetrated abuse, this is by no means the only dynamic in which intimate partner abuse exists, nor does the information only apply to those who have been in an abusive relationship. Parents, siblings, and friends of those who are experiencing abuse may find the information in this book of great help as they seek to better understand a deeply painful situation. It is also an excellent book to act as a foundation for future study of other types of intimate partner abuse, which we will share in the coming weeks.
You can find Why Does He Do That? in print, e-book, and audiobook at these retailers:
Morning Light doesn’t receive compensation for sharing book recommendations, nor do we receive a commission if you choose to buy the book. We just love them and think some of our clients may find them useful!